Graveyards and fireflies

This post will only be in English because of the content.
Ten years ago my dad pulled me into a room and sat me down. I had come back from Hawaii and met my entire family for the first time. I remember the look on his face — the news wasn’t good.

“Your cousin… Is dead.”

My sister started crying. I hid in my room because of teenage angst. My headphones went on my ears and I played every song I could think of to hide my pain. I broke up with my boyfriend at the time through text.

I scoured the newspapers hoping to make sense of this. She was twenty-seven. I was told it was a heart attack. I should have left it there.

A cocktail of drugs combined with alcohol.

I panicked, the one person who I believed was strong enough to handle anything just killed herself. Of all the cousins I met her the one time and now she will forever be twenty-seven etched in my mind.

Investigations followed. A court case as well. I stopped reading at this point. I just wanted to heal but I didn’t want anybody to know I was hurting.

Its been ten years. A gaping hole in my soul is patching up. I’m catching up in age and every year on her birthday I feel a sense of dread and anxiety. This year is different, but all the same. I’m finally putting my thoughts to paper.

My family has a saying: “every city has a graveyard, every graveyard has flowers.” Take the bad with the good and things will be alright.

I’ve always had a fascination with stars. I imagine those fireflies being fascinated with her and illuminating her soul.

I love you. 

My Christmas Trip (part 1)

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Little late, because a lot of things happened and I lost track of time.

Finals week wasn’t too bad — the amount of work I had to get done was a lot less than other people, and for that I was glad. I ended up contacting a few other classmates and we all scheduled our flights wrong: to keep us from staying longer than we had to, we hit a compromise: Spend a few days in the city pooling our money and resources.

Naturally, I said yes, I’m always up for an adventure.

So this trip was a bit chaotic: we were three people who didn’t know each other very well and thus we didn’t really know how to adapt to each others’ personalities; to add more chaos to the madness, I am somewhat of a vegetarian so feeding me was a little rough. We managed though.

Day 1:

We started off in the financial district of NYC. We dropped our baggage’s off and roamed about the area, finding a Grecian cafe that could accommodate for my dietary needs. We then went to the Blacktop cafe and found ourselves eating ice cream in the cold winter. Most importantly, I bought myself a new shade of red lipstick.

Day 2:

I woke up early because I had to pick up some bagels for my family. Everybody else stayed asleep in the bed until 11:50.

Checkout was at 12:00. So the mad scramble happened and I watched. We made it out at 11:58 but it was a hilarious endeavor.

We went to the Belvedere Castle in Central Park and I people-watched until we started moving to the Natural History Museum. I didn’t have any of my drawing materials, so I just regarded the dinosaurs.

We moved to Newark later that night, checked into the hotel, and I crashed.

 

Day 3:

Nothing really all that eventful. I had an early flight from Newark. Instead, I just took pictures by the windows because I could and wanted to test something out on my camera.

 

–more to follow.

Thanksgiving (FR)

This Thanksgiving, I went home through unconventional means: I took an anonymous app and asked if anybody could give me a ride not fearing for my life.

Cette Thanksgiving, je suis venue chez moi avec un situation uncomfortable: J’ai utils

This Thanksgiving, I also refocused on what it meant to be a blogger and how absent I’ve been with it — it’s not difficult, just time consuming, that and translating it to a another language makes it twice as difficult.

Even though blog posts tend to take a little longer with me, I think it’s integral to keep it this way.

I also thought about this past year and how much I’ve grown as a person. I am very different than before, a little more self-assured, a little more of everything good and a lot

Cette Thanksgiving, aussi j’ai reflechi avec beaucoup de ma vie et mes endroits. Particulierement le blogging, C’est pas difficile, mais je n’ai pas beaucoup des temps et enfin les traductions en Français créer plusieurs des difficultes.

Mais, ce n’est pas une probleme car je pense que les deux versions sont parfaites pour moi. Rien ne peut changer.

Aussi, j’ai réfléchi de l’année et les grandisses de moi. Je suis une personne très diffèrent maintenant, un peu confident, un peu des toutes bonnes et beaucoup de mal, mais c’est chaque person autour de monde.

Parce que un accident dans la cuisine, j’ai fait la diner pour Thanksgiving. Mon père a tombe un couteau sur sa pieds et j’ai utilisé mes trucs de sante et j’ai réparé. C’était mon premier temps en la cuisine, mais c’est une opportunité !

Mes final examens c’est pendant la semaine – j’ai déjà réussi un thèse de 30-feuille et je me sentais libere. Mais ce n’est pas fini. J’aurai plusieurs des lettres que je besoin d’écrire pour mes amis et beaucoup des personnes que je rendrai un visite.

Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving, I went home through unconventional means: I took an anonymous app and asked if anybody could give me a ride not fearing for my life.

This Thanksgiving, I also refocused on what it meant to be a blogger and how absent I’ve been with it — it’s not difficult, just time consuming, that and translating it to a another language makes it twice as difficult.

Even though blog posts tend to take a little longer with me, I think it’s integral to keep it this way.

I also thought about this past year and how much I’ve grown as a person. I am very different than before, a little more self-assured, a little more of everything good and a lot bad, but that’s every person in the world.

Because of an accident in the kitchen, I ended up making dinner. My father dropped a knife on his foot and I had to use my medical skills to patch him up and make sure he didn’t need stitches. It was kind of my first time in the kitchen, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Finals are this week — I turned in a 30-page thesis the other day and as liberated as I feel, it’s not over. It’s so far from over. I have letters to write, and people to see and life just keeps running with me.

Nuits blanche à Seattle 2

Oh mon dieu! C’est plus d’une mois!
Je me suis réveillé avec mes parents et immédiatement nous voyagons à la ville: nous avons quelque heures avant nous besoin de faisons dormir.

Le premier endroit que nous sommes rencontrées c’était une resto oú la chef c’est un ami de ma famille.

C’était mon premier goût chez moi pendant la mort de mes grandparents. Je n’ai ramené plus de ses repas. Les photos montraient sur la mur c’est familière. C’est les endroits de mon enfance.

Et la repas:

J’ai plu. J’ai senti l’océan. C’était le plus proche chez moi en quelques ans.

Nous avons dormi et la prochaine jour nous avons recommencé la ville.

Nous sommes restées à Pike’s Market. J’adorais les sense de lavande, la poisson, et les lignes plus long.

Je sais que je pourrais rendre quelque voyages là-bas, mais je ne peux pas habiter là.

Sleepless in Seattle Part 2

Oh gosh! It’s been over a month!

I wake up next to my parents and immediately start running the city: we have a few hours before we need to go to sleep.

The first place we hit is a restaurant owned by a family friend:


Its the first taste of home I’ve had since my grandparents died. I realize I know very little about the food. The pictures on the walls look familiar. I’m not in any of them but I recognize some of the places from my memory.

Then the food comes:

Small morsels of memory come flooding back in the form of tears. Suddenly, life feels pretty great and I can smell the ocean. This is as close to home as I feel like I can get.

So we rest for the night and we attack the city once more.

We spend a majority of the day at Luke’s market. Ambling about the lavender smells, the fish market, the fresh foods and long lines. 

I realize I can visit but I can never live here. As much as my personality matches the environment, I am too far from a people person to enjoy it.

Nuits blanches à Seattle

Deux vols très tard en trois jours. Je suis une peu fatiguée.
Simplement: j’ai attendu une mariage avec une bonne amie.

Mon histoire a commencé dans un auberge. Je suis toujours inquiété avec ses endroits car je su si trop petite.

Je me suis réveillée avec la bruit et les autres voisins ont venu chez-moi. Ils sont amies: les personnes qui restaient sur la même étoile pour quelques semaines.

“Qui êtes-vous?”

“Je m’appelle Sachii.”

“What do you do?”

“Qu’est-ce que vous faisez?”

Plusieurs des questions suivaient et je répondais. J’ai appris que l’homme c’est une photographie et la femme viens de Peru — sa premiere fois aux États-Unis.

Pendant la conversation, je besoin d’une douche. Avant la douche j’ai pris cette selfie:

Je rigole.

J’ai continué la conversation. Ils trouvaient moi drôle. Je me suis couchée plus tôt car j’ai eu un vol plus tôt.

Je me suis reveillée avec une sonne très bruit. 

Immédiatement j’ai assis dans l’avion et je me suis couchée encore. Il y a eu une enfant à six mois qui a joué avec mes cheveux. Je rirais. J’adore les enfants et particulierement quand je suis en l’avion et je n’ai pas écouté.

J’ai lui joué avant nous sommes arrivées à Seattle. Ma vie est belle.

Sleepless in Seattle Part 1

Two red-eyes in three days. I am a little sleepless.

So it started off as a wedding: a simple idea that brewed months ago. A good family friend was getting married and I agreed to fly across the united states for her big day.

It started off in a hostel. I’m always a little hesitant in hostels because I’m a lot smaller than the average human. People also don’t know me so well. I got there and I slept.

I woke up to clatter and found that the other roommates had come home. They were friends: people that stayed under the same roof for weeks, marking a necessity to get along.

“Who are you?”

“My name is Sachii.”

“What do you do?”

Questions streamed out of then and in rapid fire action I responded. I learned that one of them is a filmmaker and the other is from Peru — her first time in the United States.

In the middle of the conversation, I realizes I needed a shower. Before I even took the shower I took this selfie:

Being such a small person, I couldn’t help but chuckle.

I continue the conversation. They find me funny. And then I go to bed. I have to wake up super early in the morning.

I wake up go an alarm thats much too loud. Scramble to grab my items and I leave. I sit at the airport and charge my electronics.

I immediately sit on the plane and fall asleep. Only to have my hair played with by a six month old. I smile. I love children. I love them more when I don’t realize they’re there on a plane.

I play with them until the clouds break over Seattle. Life’s good.

Un appel téléphonique

“Ici jean, qui est-ce que?” L’homme parlait comme mon père avec un accent lourd. Il ne s’appellait pas Jean mais pas de soucis. Il y a beaucoup des gens qui telephonaient aujourd’hui avec l’amour.

“Sachii, je suis ravi que j’écoutais son voix oncle Jean.” Lentement, je criai. Toutes les manifestations et problèmes et j’ai eu finalement parler avec mon oncle. Je n’ai pas parlé avec lui depuis onze ans.

“Ah, Sachii, j’ai un jour mouvementé, tu m’écoute.”

“J’ai le sense, je veux de parler avec vous pour cette raison.

“Quel âge avez-vous?”

J’ai donné mon âge.

“Ça fait longtemps. Viens-tu bientôt à la maison?” Maintenant je pleurais. Maintenant, j’ai perdu le contrôle et deviens un désordre.

Son jour à été ruiné à cause d’un lâche. Et il demandait moi tous les questions plus important. À quel point je suis égoiste?

Et le fusilier?  À quel point il est égoïste? Comment osait-il. Comment ose-t-il entrer dans un lieu de bonheur, sécurité, et le transformer en un cauchemar. Comment ose-t-il exposer plusieurs des innocents personnes de la même bruit et mouvement comme mon travail.

Je suis égoïste car je n’ai pas les mots. Il est égoïste car il a refusé de les utiliser.